Tom Hardy, Reese Witherspoon and Chris Pine This Means War.

James Franco, Bradley Cooper, Sam Worthington, Colin Farrell, Justin Timberlake, Seth Rogen, Martin Lawrence and Chris Rock were all smart enough to turn down a lead role in this film. Tom Hardy, Chris Pine and Reese Witherspoon, who did end up starring in it, were the unlucky ones. All three of the actors are superior to this dumb attempt at romantic comedy.

Lauren, played by Witherspoon, is a consumer products tester who is unlucky in love, despite having the face and body of a movie star. Her best friend, Trish (played by foul mouthed, but quite funny Chelsea Handler) signs her up for a dating agency where she meets Tuck (Tom Hardy), because you know, internet dating sites are filled with good looking, buff English guys. Following her first date with him she runs into FDR (Pine) and ends up going on a date with him as well. What she doesn't know is that Tuck and FDR are best friends who are also CIA agents. When they both find out that they're dating the same girl they start competing to see who can win her hand, using all the resources of the CIA to their advantage.

Here's the problem with the plot. Lauren spends the whole movie dating two men without ever telling either of them that she's dating someone else at the same time. She's lying to them both even if it's only by omission. Tuck and FDR spend the whole movie not only lying to Lauren that they know she's dating someone else, they also stalk her, spy on her, have her followed and eavesdrop on her private conversations via wiretaps and video cameras. I didn't like any of them all that much and I didn't care which guy, if either, she ended up with.

There's some action scenes thrown in to try and liven things up but it's so generic and cartoony that it fails to add any tension. When the movie starts, Tuck and FDR kill a target and later his brother comes looking for them leading to another action scene at the movie's end, by which time I was rooting for the brother to kill them both. And the less said about how the villain is able to track them both down by a scrap of cloth the better.

Witherspoon, who is normally so likable and charming in everything she does, fails to charm here. Her character is also made to be quite stupid at times. In one scene Tuck shoots FDR with a tranquilizer dart. Lauren finds him sleeping, but apparently doesn't wonder why she can't wake him up or why a dart is visible on the couch next to him.

I'm not normally a fan of Chelsea Handler, but she's the only funny thing in the entire movie. She's married and a mother and so lives vicariously through Lauren's love life. The two women have more chemistry together than Lauren has with either of the men. Ironically, Tuck and FDR likewise have better chemistry together than they do with Lauren. That has to tell you something.

I've enjoyed many a romantic comedy and I'll confess to enjoying some chick flicks, but this is pure female fantasy drivel. I doubt very highly you're going to find many men enjoying this one. It's all about the idea of one woman having two hot guys competing for her attention. The cast deserves better and certainly audiences do as well.

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