If the sight of this woman gets you excited, then maybe you will find something to enjoy in this movie.

I was never a huge fan of Sex and the City but because of my wife I ended up seeing most of the episodes of the series. At least there was nudity and some humor to keep my attention and the stories were brief. I didn't really mind spending 30 minutes or so with the characters each week. Then came the movie, which for some unfathomable reason was nearly two and a half hours long, but with a story that deserved probably 45 minutes. Perhaps the only thing that first movie proved is that the expiration date had passed for these characters, but since fans of the show ensured that it made big bucks, a sequel was practically inevitable.

Inexplicably the second installment is nearly as long as the first one only I swear with even less plot. Where the first movie felt like four different episodes of the series shoved together, this one feels like one short episode stretched and stretched and stretched and stretched.

The incredibly complicated plot goes like this. Carrie and Big fight. Carrie and friends go to Abu Dhabi. Carrie runs into Aiden while there, they kiss, she feels guilty and then she returns to New York. Oh sure, other stuff happens, but they're only minor distractions. Miranda doesn't like her boss. Charlotte is feeling stressed about raising her kids (with the help of her sexy nanny). And Samantha wants to have sex, but needs a pharmacy to keep her from turning into the dried, wrinkled prune she would naturally be.

Maybe it's because they were younger, more attractive and because we weren't in the middle of a major recession but I remember these characters as having a smattering of charm about them. Now however they just seem irritatingly materialistic without a shred of humanity beyond their own consumerist instincts.

The foursome stay in a hotel room that costs $22,000 a night (which they don't have to pay for of course) and the movie spends 5 to 10 minutes just touring the hotel room. Each of the women gets their own personal butler and car while in Abu Dhabi. In fact, a good portion of the movie feels like an advertisement from the Abu Dhabi tourist board.

These are not people I would want to know or spend time with. Charlotte gets upset because her vintage dress gets ruined while making cupcakes. That's one of her major dilemmas. Later she complains about how hard it is to raise kids. Sure, raising kids is hard, but then she's got a nanny and all the money in the world. I mean, if getting a vintage $5,000 dress dirty is a worry, how about you don't wear it while you're baking cupcakes?

Granted I'm nowhere near this movie's intended demographic, but all that means is that I'm not going to forgive the sheer laziness involved in the filmmaking. Women and gay men, who are the target audience, might get some vicarious thrill out of watching this, but surely even they must realize how crap it all is.

Part of Carrie and Big's arguing is over the suggestion by Big that they spend two out of every five days apart. Given how badly Carrie has aged and how shallow she and her friends remain, I think she should just be grateful there's someone willing to spend that many days with her.

Did you enjoy Scott's review? +7 -1

I hope the paychecks were worth it.

Wow, I had heard many stories about just how bad this movie was but I guess I had to see it for myself to believe it. It really stinks. As a gay man I will admit that seeing Liza Minnelli performing Beyonce’s "Single Ladies" did get me excited but that comes in the first 20 minutes of this 2 hour plus movie. It is all downhill from there.

I must say also that as a gay man I found the wedding between Stanford and Anthony to be about as believable as Liza’s wedding to David Guest. There is absolutely no romantic chemistry between these two Nelly queens. It was as if the writers said, "since we have two gay supporting characters lets have them get married". And that’s all the thought they put into it. Not surprisingly their relationship isn’t explored at all nor are they given a single kiss or moment of intimacy.

But to be honest these writers didn’t put much thought into anything about this movie. As Scott already wrote the dramatic conflicts are all ridiculously trivial and I agree that these four women have grown increasingly shallow and unlikable.

By the time the Muslim women were taking off their traditional garb to reveal designer gowns underneath and Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte were donning the robes and scarves as disguises I was half expecting Bob Hope, Bing Crosby and Dorothy Lamour to pop out and perform a musical number. They should have called this terrible movie Very Little Sex & Hardly Any City. It sucks.
 

Did you enjoy Patrick's review? +6 -1