Jennifer Connelly in Career Opportunies.

John Hughes has been called the voice of a generation and he certainly wrote and directed some classics.  Career Opportunities (which he wrote) however, is not one of them.  It sort of wants to be a combination of Ferris Beuller and Home Alone with a bit of The Breakfast Club thrown in, but doesn't come close to equaling any of them.  If it weren't for a skin tight tank top and an electric grocery store pony this movie would never be remembered.

Jim Dodge (Whaley) is known as the town liar.  Well out of high-school he still lives at home and has run through a series of jobs.  His only friends seem to be the neighborhood kids to whom he tells a stream of unbelievable lies that they still seem to believe.  His father gets fed up and tells him that if he doesn't get another job then he'll kick him out of the house, which leads to Jim getting a job as an overnight janitor at a Target store.

On his first night he is left alone in the store (which is just one of many plot holes.  Hughes obviously never worked in retail or he'd know that's when the majority of stocking is done and the store would be full of employees).  His shift seems to last as long as Ferris Beuller's day off as he finds time to clean, watch movies, try on clothes, and roller skate around the store.

He eventually discovers that Josie McClellan (Connelly), the daughter of the richest man in town is in the store with him.  She fell asleep in the dressing room after trying to shoplift some clothes in the hopes of embarrassing her abusive father.

The beginning of the movie, when it introduces Jim and he lands the job, is pretty bad.  Apart from a cameo by John Candy it's not very funny and Jim isn't particularly likable.  When Jim meets Josie  the movie steps up a bit for about twenty minutes as they talk and get to know each other.  For a short time they become real people and share a couple of genuine moments as they realize that they are each trapped in their very different lives for very different reasons.

Sadly, any real emotion in the movie is quickly gone by the third act when two robbers show up at the store.  Played by a slimy, unibrowed Dermot Mulroney and his real life brother Kieran, the two ineptly hold up the store and leer at Josie.  They might not be the stupidest robbers ever, but surely they're in the running.

The arrival of the robbers also brings up another major plot hole, which is that at the beginning of the movie Jim is told that he's locked in for the night but the robbers are able to come and go freely out a back door in the stockroom.  Much is made at times over the fact that Jim can't leave, but apparently he could anytime he wanted.  If this was a smarter movie, I might think that this was intended as a metaphor for Jim's life in general, but this movie just isn't that smart.

There's only one good reason to watch this otherwise poor comedy and that is to see a beautifully buxom Jennifer Connelly.  She eventually takes off her blouse to reveal a form hugging white tank top that strains to contain her magnificent (and I mean truly magnificent) breasts.  She then proceeds to roller skate around the store with her bosom heaving at every stride.  Later, to distract the robbers, she mounts the store's electric pony and proceeds to ride it.  One of the movie's funniest jokes is when the pony stops and she asks if anyone has a quarter and all three of the men scramble to find change. 

They might as well have showed Connelly roller skating or riding that pony in slow motion for 90 minutes.  They are the only parts worth watching and the only memorable portions of the entire movie.  I give it 2 stars because of her; one for each of them.

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